You know those stretches of time where you feel overwhelmed, deeply sad for humanity, lonely, uninspired? I have been feeling all of the above, and then some this week. I know you’re right there with me. If it isn’t the (horrific) news, it’s a death in the family, a big move, a stressful spell at work…or all of the above all at once. I have some tried and true day/mood/life enhancers to share with you here. And if today’s post finds you well and joyful (that makes me so happy!), perhaps it’s a good one to bookmark for a rainy day, or send to a friend who could use a hug:

One (or all) of the 3 S’s.

I read this quote a long time ago and put it into practice often:

Talk it out.

When all else fails, seek out your most non-judgmental, space-holder of a human, and ask for their permission to do a feelings dump. Sometimes the simple act of letting it out and letting it go does wonders. The key, though, is getting their permission first. Because they might be hurting, too, or not in a time or place to really listen. If they sound strapped for time or have a dismissive tone, it can have the opposite impact and then you’re worse off than when you started.

RAS.

This is my very favorite on the list and a tip from my Dad that I have used again and again. He originally told me about our Reticular Activating System when I was telling him about a time I saw the same type of car “everywhere” I looked. He said it only seemed that way, because my brain was on heightened alert to look for it, since I had been researching that car as an option to buy. So what we need to do when we’re feeling down is to press the refresh button on our RAS. It is going to feel impossible at first, but I implore you to give it a try. This works for me 10/10 times when I want to shift my mood. Look for something, anything, that gives you a glimmer of joy. Then another thing, and another. You are re-training your brain to seek out the good, and I promise you, you will find it.

Play music.

This tried and true method works for every mood. We all know this hack, but how often do we remember to use it? If you’re grieving and really want to feel your way through it, you can put on some melancholy music. If you’re ready to break free, you go for the playful playlist. If you’re feeling nostalgic, the tunes of your childhood. Music is such beautiful medicine for the soul!

Actually play.

We don’t have cable, and I’m not a big consumer of news. My heart just can’t take it. But this week it was inescapable and I found myself in a deep, dark, can’t-get-outable hole. So last night, we all sat on the floor together playing legos, and it forced me to be hyper-present and enveloped in Grey’s sweet, innocent love. It was just the life preserver I needed, and a reminder of how precious those gifts are.

Set a timer.

So many times we push our feelings under the rug because we “don’t have time” to feel them. Too much work, too many people to care for, too much to do. But they start bubbling under the surface and the web grows, and soon something that was figureoutable no longer feels that way. If you’re in the deep, dark hole and all you want to do is lay in bed and scroll on your phone or watch your favorite rom-com or stress-clean a random closet – set a timer, and give yourself an Rx to do just that. If you went to the doctor and they said, “take this, rest, and you’ll be better tomorrow”, you’d listen. Your intuition knows just what you need to feel, and to heal.

Plan ahead.

Make a list of things you have to look forward to, and if you can’t think of anything, set a plan or a date right that second. Hope is such a gift, and the carrot that keeps us going when we need it the most. What are you looking ahead to? What are you dreaming about? What wonderful person in your life can you meet up with? Having something that we genuinely are looking forward to has this wonderful ability to tamp down all of the somber feelings and build back the joy.