As we skip into a New Year, I wanted to dedicate a space to outline some impactful, inspiring, and easy practices we can employ to make 2023 our year of feeling well and joyful. Before we start, bookmark this page so you can check back in whenever you feel like you need a reminder that you can do this:
every day, make a tiny agreement with yourself and follow through with it. you’ll start to see yourself as a person who honors their word, even when no one’s watching. And that’s what creates true self confidence.
sam brown
Your WHAT
Choose your what for this new beginning. It can be broad, or defined; several small habits, or one big one. And I want to say this: your new goal can be for TODAY. Let’s not let ourselves get sucked in to the New Year resolution machine where we feel depleted and depressed that we skipped a day a few weeks in and now it’s “all for nothing”. Something I ask my clients in each session:
<< What is it that you’re wanting right now? >>
What is coming up for you? Jot it down. Be open to any and all thoughts that come to mind.
For me, it’s being mindful about sugar. It tastes delicious for about a minute, then takes my energy levels on a rollercoaster that leaves me feeling queasy and my stomach in distress. For you, it could be that you want to improve your sleep hygiene, start a vitamin protocol, re-boot your meditation practice, or start walking again. Put it all on paper and see what sticks out to you! Something will tug at you stronger than the others, and that’s the best one to start with.
Your WHY
If I were teaching The Well of Joy class, I would make this exercise mandatory. You’d get an A, of course, because the simple act of putting pen to paper will help reveal your why to you so much easier than you’re expecting. Before doing this, I thought my why was my family. And it is in a sense, they are always top of mind when I do anything. But after asking why again, and again, my true why turned out to be freedom. It’s always a few more layers deeper than you imagine.
So here’s how it works. Let’s say you want to make more healthy lifestyle changes. Start with the first reason that comes to mind. Then peel back the layers so you uncover the reason underneath, then the one behind that, and so on until you get to the truth. Keep asking why.
((This is a sample. Your question and answers will, and should, differ!))
Why? So I feel better in my body.
Why? So I don’t feel so uncomfortable after eating, and don’t get sick as often.
Why? So I have more energy for all of the incredible things I want to accomplish.
Why? So I stay healthy to set an example for the people I care about, and live long enough to enjoy them.
Why? Because I don’t want to end up with heart disease like so many of my family members, and I want to change the cycle for my son. <— there is it, the true why.
Your true why will keep moving you forward when old habits try to take you back.
Your HOW
Now that we have our what to focus on, and our true why to drive us, let’s talk about how. If you have it in your budget, I highly recommend this book. Yes, you can borrow it from the library, but for me, it’s been a go-to on my nightstand for years and is dog-eared, highlighted, and re-read often. Here’s one of my favorite truths:
1% sounds so minuscule doesn’t it? Like it won’t enact real change in our lives. But look at that research! If we get 1% better each day, we will be 37% better by the end of the year. We can do this.
Atomic Habits has so many valuable nuggets of wisdom in how to make habits stick (several of which they teach in the wellness counseling program at Cornell, so I know they’re the real deal!), and if we’re looking for a playbook on how to change a n y t h i n g in our lives long-term, it always comes back to habits.
So back to the 1% – last year I read The Power of One More, and it is a good read but let me give you the big takeaway: when you do absolutely anything in life, add one more to it, and you will see your life start to change before your eyes.
- One more rep in your workout.
- One more walk around the block.
- One more minute in meditation.
- One more minute on the treadmill.
- One more I love you before you say goodbye.
- One more act of kindness.
- One more compliment to a friend.
- One more item off your to-do list.
- One more glass of water.
In testing the theory, I’ve noticed it has impacted so many of the areas I’ve been working on: my relationship with my family, my meditation practice, and my spirituality. It even works for smaller, simpler goals like wanting to read more, or be less reactive.
If we focus on getting just one percent better each day, it feels doable. We’re not running up the whole mountain in a day, we’re taking one step. Tomorrow, we’ll worry about tomorrow when we take the second one.
So today I invite you to take the first step with me. We’re in this together and I will be here every step cheering you on along the way! XO – Kaylea
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