Since you’re here and a part of our Well of Joy community, I already know you have the best intentions. We always try to come from a place of kindness when we compliment others, but when it comes to the superficial stuff, it puts self-worth in the wrong category. We’re all so much more than the clothes we wear, if we dropped a size, or changed our hair color; and we deserve better. Here’s how to shift your next comment from “Wow, you look great” to something more meaningful:
“People will forget what you said. People will forget what you did. But people will never forget how you made them feel.”
maya angelou
Before we get to the goods, have you heard about the 5 second rule? No, not in the context of dropping food on the floor (my mind went there, too 😅). I read a snippet from a psychiatrist (Dr. Desta) who said, “you can comment on any aspect of someone’s appearance if and only if they can change it in five seconds.” Brilliant! So if someone has a fly that needs zipping, or food in their teeth and you can gently help them correct it, go for it. But otherwise, leave it alone.
Here are some of my favorite compliments to sprinkle into conversations. I don’t dole them out willy nilly, but it is a fun way to look for the good in someone you’re speaking with, and pay them a genuine kindness when inspiration strikes!
- The way you treat people is incredible.
- You exude JOY!
- You bring out the best in me.
- I really admire you as a _____ (mom, partner, friend).
- Your confidence inspires me.
- You make me feel at home when I’m with you.
- You are so much fun to spend time with.
- Your smile is magnetic.
- You have the best outlook, I truly value your insights.
- Your sense of humor is such a gift!
Some of these may not feel like “you”, but maybe there’s a word you can swap here, or add there, and it will stick. If you come up with more, I would love to hear them and share with others in the comments!
Be well + joyful today. Thank you for being here, kind friend!
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