Little Grey has to have a minor surgery this week. And in the pre-op appointment, the surgeon reached for my hand and said, “We’re all parents in that operating room. And we will treat your son as if he were our own”. That was all I needed to hear. Imagine if each of us applied that empathy to different situations in our lives – how comforting that would be to others. The same goes for your home. After working with countless contractors through the years, here’s what we would say now, that maybe we didn’t say the first time.

Dear Contractor,

We’re so glad you’re here. We called because we need help. You are a skilled craftsman in your field and we trust you to do this job. We vetted you amongst your colleagues before making that call. We read online reviews, asked around for recommendations, compared experience and prices, saw examples of your work, and ultimately, you rose to the top.

Before we start this job, we truly appreciate you allowing us to get every last detail in writing. We thank you for thinking long and hard about the scope of this work – the (realistic) estimate of the time it will take, the materials you will need on site, the expectations you have from us as the homeowners, the breakdown of the costs and the labor, and any potential pitfalls you anticipate along the way. If we both have a copy of this, then the plan is clear and no one will leave unhappy. We want to call you again, and refer you to all of our friends.

This is our home. We know you have one too, and so we trust that you will do your best to treat this like your own. We have babies and dogs running around on this floor, and we are so grateful for you picking up any dangerous items before you leave each day. Speaking of. We apologize in advance for the whining of the pups, or the nosy kiddos trying to see what you’re working on. We thank you for your kindness and compassion while you’re here. Please let us know if we can turn on any music or the TV for some background noise. It can be tricky to navigate the three remotes.

We mentioned the nosy kiddos, but we should have included ourselves in that, too. We’re sorry to keep popping in, but we are fascinated by the process and excited to see the progress. You see, we’ve saved a long time for this project. I know you do this job every day, but to us, this day is like Christmas. So please also understand if we point something out that isn’t as we envisioned it. Because again, we saved, we dreamed, and we hope it will turn out exactly as we had hoped. Those realistic expectations mentioned above and in our contract? We promise to have those, too. And to understand that not everything goes to plan. But we trust that you will do your part, and we will do ours. Being a guest in someone’s home can be difficult, especially if it’s an extended stay. But we look forward to getting to know you better, and thank you for your hard work and dedication to this project, and making our home a happy place.

Is there anything you’d add to this letter? Something we can’t stress enough – get every.last.detail. in writing. You’ve heard of CYA? You may not need to refer back to it, but nine times out of ten you will and either way, it’s good to have.